Know the reasons why we often do not accept help from others and the impact they can have on professional outcomes and life. And learn, in 4 lessons, how to open up and accept the help of others to thrive.
One great difficulty I experienced during a period of my life was to accept that in some situations I needed the help of someone, whether it was a professional who understood more than I or someone who wanted to help me with something I needed, family ….
There are some reasons for this, and one of them is our false idea that we will lose our independence, or we may lose our self-esteem and be a matter of ego, pride, or something like self-pity and victimization , or even self-sacrifice, forcing us to account for absolutely everything, an erroneous belief that it is weakness to accept help from others or to be indebted to the person, to feel more vulnerable to criticism, perhaps for believing that whoever wants help does not have enough competence … These beliefs have formed along life experiences and meanings given by us to them.
In this way, accepting help becomes a very difficult task. But not impossible!
I went through a lot of previous, unpleasant and stressful situations while I was on the other side of the wall, where it prevented me from seeing what was on the side here, the benefits of facing that barrier.
After understanding this inner dynamics and what to do to accept the help of others, my life began to change completely and today I decided to write this text to facilitate its crossing to the other side of the wall.
The worst of it all, I assure you is to leave it the way it is, because for a long time I locked myself in this exaggerated cocoon of self-confidence, trying to hide my vulnerability in every way, forcing myself to be better and stronger full-time … .e when I overtook this barrier …. beyond relief, is something you need to know!
I agree that it is bad to depend on others, but this is not always our choice or our fault …. something happens and then something else needs to be done differently from the usual way to fit the new scenario.
So this new scenario involves learning how to handle our thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs in a functional way. And believe there are ways to solve, there is way out.
This is Lesson # 1: Awareness: Ask yourself what is happening to understand and realize what you do not know and need to learn, which is keeping you from finding new alternatives, your limiting beliefs.
I started to change and accept other people’s help when I had a stroke / stroke and had no other choice, besides I had a left brain injury, which I thought was in charge of everything …. I learned to use the marvels of the right side of the brain, to see how much of a good thing it was to accept the help of others, to learn from the knowledge and expertise of other professionals, to identify the positives in others, of gratitude.
This is lesson number 2: Gratitude: to thank those who have something to share, to offer and to value these people.
I also accepted that I, as a human being, needed people and others and that it was impossible to live and solve everything absolutely alone … We are social beings and we need to cooperate among ourselves to achieve success and happiness in life, however self-sufficient we may be.
We all need and deserve this connection with the people around us, we have to give and receive, inevitably. At that time specifically I was needing help.
Lesson number 3: Acceptance: accepting that we are imperfect and that all human beings suffer and need others are basic needs. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to help yourself.
Lesson number 4: Take action: At this moment you are aware of what has prevented you from accepting other people’s help, you are already grateful and value what the other has to offer you, already accepted in the condition of being human … the next step is to do something to change this situation and create new alternatives.
Change the idea or belief that is involved in the context, define and seek to develop skills that will help you in this process.
It may be feasible at that moment to seek help from a professional depending on the problem faced and the necessary help, it may be a coach, a consultant, a doctor, a psychologist, a therapist, a teacher …
Check out www.meusmiolos.com.br for some programs that can help you develop skills, break beliefs, and achieve a better quality of life. Then it is only to enjoy a lighter and fuller life.